Watch him closely as he fumbles through the clothes at the men’s section, unable to decide what color suits his dark complexion. Stand behind him in front of the mirror as he puts on a shirt that slightly reveals the tiny bulge in his tummy. Follow the lack of confidence in his gaze, as he looks at you for approval. Tell him it fits him perfectly. Watch his eyes light up, remember the gratitude you see in them.
Listen to him, when you’re out on a date and he is blabbering on and on about why Thanos killed half the human race. Even if you don’t understand a word he says, even if it’s not your cup of tea. Listen to him as he talks about the things he loves. Go home and secretly download the Avengers, wake him up at midnight just so you can binge together. Watch him cry like a ten year old when Spiderman dies. Never forget the child you see, trapped in a man’s body.
Wake him up with coffee and scrambled eggs. Quietly get into bed beside him, run your fingers through his tangled hair. Watch him sleep like a baby, tired of a society that constantly tells him to ‘be a man.’ Know that your arms are his safe haven, that he fights the whole world, every day, only to come home to you. Trace your fingers on his untrimmed cheeks, gently kiss his forehead. Notice how he hugs you tightly, smiles in his sleep. Screenshot that smile, save it in a corner of your mind.
Give him the space he needs. Understand when he tells you that he wants to play PUBG on a Saturday night, instead of going out with you. Don’t think he loves you any less. Dive into Pochinki with him, match him toe to toe, watch him slaughter anything that gets in your way. Rest assured, on Sunday evening, you’ll find two movie tickets bookmarking the novel you’re reading.
Stand by him in his worst days. Know that he is not as strong as he pretends to be. Join him with a cup of coffee, when he is standing alone in the balcony at 2am, smoking his eleventh cigarette. Hold him when he is breaking down in your arms, falling apart. sobbing so violently that you think he might die. Know that he is not weak for crying in front of you, that he trusts you more than he trusts himself, to show you his most vulnerable side. Even when he tries to run away, take on his demons all by himself, hold on to him. and don’t let go. Kiss him hard. hard enough to make him forget the things he doesn’t want to remember. Rip his clothes off, let him feed on you like a hungry wolf. Bruise him, dig your nails into his back, take control of him, let him control you…and as he moves inside you, look into his eyes and tell him you love him.
Tell him, he doesn’t have to run anymore.
Tell him, he is home.
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